Your Hands, JJ Heller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlL8LayF0uw

Possibilities

If tomorrow came

And you weren’t here

If dawn arose

Would I shed a tear?

If you were gone

Would I know where

If you passed on

Would I care?

You had a choice

Which did you choose?

If I had spoken

Even once to you…

Would it have changed today?

Would you still be here

If I had reached out

To someone different

Would you have changed?

Or would you be indifferent

This is my fault

At least, I bear some blame

I knew you hurt

I saw your pain

Yet I remained

A stranger

I knew the answer

To give you hope

But to share with you

Was outside my comfort zone

Now, you are gone

And I am here

With the knowledge that

You’re in a sulfur smoke

You were a nihilistic Nazi

I was the clean kid on our block,

You stayed up late, in front of LED

I partied like a queen

Lives woven together

But you've broken your thread

Our pain could have flown together

But now you are dead

I gave up the chance

To give you a hope

Today I sit here

As they remove your dope

That was yesterday,

I live today

The same, but different

Desiring change

I see someone like you

I pause between lockers

I almost pass by, but realize

I still hold the answer

Irreverently dangling it

Above his head

What choice will I make?

Which road will I take?

You can see his pain

It’s flowing bloodlike tears

I can see the stains

And the dark dye of his hair

I look into his eyes

Startled, they reflect mine

Deep pools of green

Filled with unanswered hurt

And tonight he sits alone

Enveloped by the darkness of night

A choice to make, his choice to choose

Those bloodlike tears

Are tears no more

No gasps of pain,

Just bloody sleeves

No cries of hurt,

Just broken knees

You can see his pain

It’s flowing bloodlike tears

I can see those stains

And the dark dye of his hair

If I hold back

This could be

A repetition, Your misery

So I speak

I can see his pain

But you have stopped the bloody tears

I can see his knees

But now Somebody cares

Explanations

I stand in rain

You stand in heaven

I kneel in pain

You sit and reign

I cry in brokenness

You cry that I’m broken

I lift my tears toward heaven

You reach down to wipe them

I pound my fist

You understand my humanness

I hear a Voice

You whispered a song

I see a tapestry

You have woven my life

I see the ruts and rocks

You point out its perfection

I gaze in wonder

You stand amused

I bow at the mercy seat

You lift up my face

I wonder what’s happening

You say “do not fear”

I turn my eyes

You still see the pain

I ask “why the pain, the breaking, the tears?”

You say “I am with you, child have no fear”

I question “I was angry, yet You called out my name”

You say “Because I love you, things won’t ever be the same”

I said “I saw the tapestry – my failures, my sins”

You say “I saw the beauty, the pristine perfection”

I say “I don’t understand – this glory and awe”

You say “you don’t need to – I am who I am”

I smiled and asked “why me, and why now?”

You laughed as You said “don’t you see?”

“My love never ends

My mercy never fails

My forgiveness is eternal”

“I created the earth,

 The wind,

Even you”

“For My glory and honor

I AM WHO I AM”

Tears

Tonight I let the tears fall down,

Intricately portraying pain

But the pain inside

You cannot see,

Save for the eyes that cannot lie

Tears are the human expression

That something is wrong

Tears can mean a broken arm,

A broken heart

Tears can mean a death,

A broken life,

A cry for help

But behind these tears

Sit restless hearts,

Cruelly cut by the world

Tears are a gift

Pain is a gift

But I cannot say

A beautiful, decaprated

Broken soul is a gift

So as you lie awake tonight,

Remember the forgotten

Some of us don’t mend,

We just harden

Tears become a mara